Following a Dream

The past few weeks since coming home from our last trip back to the States have been filled with deep soul searching. There’s something about going home, seeing all of my friends and family and being stuck in a car for long periods of time that takes me mind to a deep, thought provoking place.

I thought about all kinds of things ranging from when should we really have kids, to where we should move back to, to what fast food chain sounds the best for dinner that we can’t get in Germany and where my career is headed.

This last thought is a tough one for me. I’ve always been super driven, knowing what steps to take to get what I want from my career, which used to be an office with the words “CMO” written on my business card. Even before our move to Germany, I was questioning my career. I was growing tired of being in meetings all day long and following orders of someone I didn’t respect and working so hard to earn someone else money. I still loved marketing and working with creative people and my co-workers were fantastic, it’s not like I hated my life, I just didn’t wake up in the morning and feel excited about the day.

And when our move happened, my career stalled. I don’t want to say that it stopped, it just started to take a different direction. I wasn’t working for the first 4 or 5 months, which was nice but hard since I didn’t have any social interaction for most of the day.  I stayed in contact with my network and was able to land a part-time job in marketing and also work as an English teacher the days I wouldn’t be in the office. At first I really enjoyed teaching but I’m certainly not passionate about it. And my marketing job is only 12 hours a week, so it’s hard to really get full-on projects, but I am so thankful to have something in my chosen field.

Now that’s it’s been about a year since I started working both jobs, I have started to really think about what I want out of life now and in the future. I’ve had conversations with my mom, my sister, Vinn, and friends surrounding this topic and one thing remained clear: my future career involves writing. I just love putting my thoughts down on paper (or Internet, as it were). I don’t even care if anyone reads them, I just love writing. It makes me feel sane. I can process my feelings easier and I love sharing my experiences with other people. Being able to document our time living in Germany is honestly the biggest blessing. I don’t think I would be scrapbooking with paper and printed photos, so this blog is a great diary to take people along on this crazy ride.

And while I’m thinking all of this inner turmoil, a turn of events happened that brought everything into the light. My marketing job offered me more hours!! Basically, my current contract expires on June 30th and they were able to get me a contract that ends whenever Vinn’s contract ends and with 20 hours per week. I am very excited about this for several reasons: 1, I can start to feel more part of the team. Because I only work 12 hours a week and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I don’t get to attend the team meetings, so I have no idea what’s happening day to day, and 2, I can start to have a more precise schedule.

With more hours in marketing, I have now made the choice to stop teaching. My heart just isn’t in it and it’s not fair to the students to only be available to teach Mondays and Fridays, and both of these days are prime days to be away traveling for a long weekend. That’s not a great experience for anyone if I am rescheduling lessons at least once a month thanks to vacation.

So, this week, I gave my official resignation to my online teaching platform. And now I have two days every week to devote entirely to blogging/writing. I even signed up for a blogging mentorship program to help keep me accountable, provide me some insight into making this blog a success and to figuring out a strategy to growing it into a larger community.

It feels so great to type this. I feel very content with where everything is going. My schedule will now look like this:

Monday: blog

Tuesday: Marketing Job until 3 PM

Wednesday: Marketing Job until 5 PM

Thursday: Marketing Job until 3 PM

Friday: blog

Ah, structure! Before, I would have some classes mixed in on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and they wouldn’t be consistent and sometimes they would be right in the middle of the day so I couldn’t really go anywhere too far for fear of being late to a class. I have so many ideas on what to post and am really excited for the future.

All in all, I think this post is more for me so I can remember what this felt like. I came to realize that if I want my future to be writing, then I should be writing. I should be spending my days focused on making that dream a reality. I’m no longer just talking about how much I want my career to be writing, I am taking the steps to actually make this happen!

What are some of your career dreams?

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